What do I do when I'm bored with nothing to do

Well, I stay up until 3,4 or even 5 am doing whatever my heart desires. Lately, I've been watching the trial of the psychopath killer, Jodi Arias. This psycho stabbed her ex-boyfriend 29 times, slit his throat and then shot him in the head. The man she murdered was Travis Alexander and he had a very short blog that he started before his death. It's a very long story and the verdict isn't out yet but I pray to God Almighty that this beast gets the death penalty. Then when I'm not watching this trial via youtube then I literally clean the entire house from curtains, couch covers, rugs to every tiny detail of my house. Yes, I am that bored. I also get to sleep late and think a lot. I am so done with ranting and raving or worse, complaining.  I need to be myself, happy, sarcastic, nonchalant when I want to be and I need my smile. The smile that lights up my face, I need it back. I have been healing since I quit my job last week. I didn't realize my boss was such an abusive tyrant until today. Three people quit in the past 3 days, which includes myself. She is out of control, rude, arrogant and insane/bipolar in my opinion. Hey, I am not there anymore. so whatever!

The next few days are kind of blah at the moment. Not so sure what I'm going to be doing. Not even sure if I'll be here or not. Not sure of so many things that I am not even sure of being unsure. |Get that? weird..but that's who I am. I'm just a one of kind, once in a lifetime kind of creation.

I just want to know why I'm here in this place........it's been almost a year since I've arrived and I have not a clue why I'm here. shocking? I'm not shocked. I'm just sick of it. I guess right now a lot of things are pointing to the fact that I may just leave. That's what it seems like at the moment. Things are just very odd with very strange and mysterious things happening. Boo! not! I guess now I'm rambling as I have really no idea what's happening. God only knows. I just pray it's something happy, exciting, fun and just a whoa! kind of thing. I need some fun! I just have no other choice but to wait and see what goodies God has in store for me. Insha Allah something awesome!

If my paranoia is right then

I'll be back home in 2 weeks. my mind is in a blender right now, my gut is torn to pieces, my negativity is overwhelming and yes I am just about to  book a ticket home.

why? because that's how my mind thinks. If things get confusing, I jump to conclusions(all from my mind-no reality involved-yes I am woman) and then I pack in.

Key to my happiness

Well, since I have nothing to do for God knows how long, I decided to go to the spa to get the full treatment. After 3 hours at the spa/salon I feel great and again I have nothing to do. Too much time on my hands, not much to do in Cairo, things are ridiculously expensive and I don't know if I should pack or not. I have a feeling I'll be going home shortly as now there is absolutely nothing here for me at all. I don't know but I'm very confused and I'm not liking it.

House is clean, resting and relaxing

Now that I've had the flu+allergies for over a week, I'm literally wiped out. I cleaned my house because I can't rest if the house is messy nor can I stand the sight. So I cleaned literally everything and now I"m resting. I don't know what my plans are for the weekend nor for the next few days. I'm still achy from the flu and I have no desire to leave the house. I'm just too tired to move. I think I'll stay in for the next few days until I'm recuperated.

Still have no idea what I'm going to be doing...staying or going? my mind isn't ready to decide. :(

Mulling over several options

Today was my last day at work and now I have nothing but time to think about what it is that I'm going to be doing next. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone including my mom which is very rare. All I'm thinking about is 'what now?'. The answer is very simple, "I have no idea". I'm too tired to think right now and I need to clear my mind and really create an atmosphere where I can think without prejudice or influence of any kind. I am sad, I am tired, I am frustrated, I am broken, I am exhausted, I am exactly what I wanted to avoid when I arrived in Cairo. This country is not exactly 'woman friendly' as nothing here caters to making a woman's life easy. It's a man's world and it will never change. I have fought hard to keep strong and be true to myself but the odds are against me, the rules are against me, the game is not a game that includes women. This is not what  I'm used to. I need to regroup, reassess and replan my next step. I need time as my options aren't exactly what I had planned for a 'plan b', in fact they weren't even considered.

Time to think and the scary thing is, I don't have much time.

Hit a "Fork in the Road"

This week I've stumbled onto my 'fork in the road'. I now feel that I need to make a decision and whatever road I choose will determine the outcome of this journey that I've chosen to make. I just pray that I make the right one based on logic rather than emotions. I tend to make too many emotional decisions and then later regret them. This time I hope that I can remain calm enough to just sit it out for a week or two and then decide. Waiting and praying.

My Birthday weekend

ABDEEN PALACE



 

 

Today was a nice day as my good friends RK and DA decided to take me out for my birthday weekend. We decided to go to Abdeen Palace but we found out that it was closed due to the unrest in the country. It's absolutely gorgeous but we couldn't go inside. I want to thank them both and their friend 'T' for taking time out of their day to make sure I didn't spend this day alone. We did end up driving around for hours which was nice, as I got to see different parts of Cairo but I couldn't get one thing out of my mind, what do I do next? I have no job as of March 1st, I'm waiting for 'something' and I don't believe anything is going to happen here for me. I've lost hope but not my faith yet I feel like I'm praying for something that might not be. I think I need to go home ASAP. I'm wasting time and I'm getting deeper and deeper into a place I don't like.