More funnies...

#1, #2,  and #5 are jokes you hear from the Egyptians directly..how pathetic is that.

1) Where are the Egyptian men? they ALL died in 1967(reference to Israeli-Egyptian war where Israel won) this one was told to me by a 'man'..

2) Why are Egyptians so lazy? they built the pyramids 7000 years ago and they're still resting....

3) What is Egypt's slogan? "we're the world's largest toilet bowl"

4) Nickname for Egypt: the country of starers (this was borrowed but so darn true)

5) How do you correct the problems you have with the population? annihilate them

6) there is a letter 'jeem' ج in Arabic but the Egyptians pronounce it 'geem'(which by the way is not the correct pronunciation at all!) but then created another letter with three dots in the middle to change the pronunciation back to 'jeem', quick question, why couldn't you just pronounce it properly to begin with? instead of creating another letter to correct the letter you deliberately pronounce incorrectly? *scratching my head* are you really that stupid? answer: YES!

 

lesson learned is wisdom gained

I learned quite a few lessons today. So many that I think my head is shaking like a bobble head.  So many things came to light today that have had my head shake back and forth for the past 10 hours. Guess what that may be? I learned today that I am surrounded by none other than a bunch of liars. It came to my attention that people in Egypt will maliciously lie to you for their own entertainment. So visitors beware.

Hoarding Dollars and Gold

For the past few days people in Egypt have been hoarding dollars and gold. There's so much turmoil here. Then you have the 3 major players of the opposition being accused of all sorts of things by the Prosecutor that this looks like the beginnings of a similar rule to that when the Mamluk's ruled this country. Wow, what a joy that would be. It's almost New Year's and many Egyptians like to party. Well the Brotherhood has already sent out a warning telling these turds that certain areas will be targeted for terrorist attacks. well as defiant and deviant as these turds are, they're not heeding to the warning. They're still going to go out and do exactly what pisses off the Brotherhood. All in the name of DEFIANCE. wow, you have to hand it to Egyptians, they really know how to start a problem. Now to solve one, then you're on your own. They won't have a hand it that..too much effort and too much of an inconvenience. Let's see who starts a fight on New Year's Eve. Will it be the terrorists? or the people? My bets are with the people...they always seem to find a way to start a fight.

Me, I'm staying HOME. where it's safe!

Making plans with an Arab..not a wise idea

What did I learn today? let's see. I had made plans with a friend today and like a girl I waited and waited and waited some more. Then by 6:00 pm I text them and they decided to tell me that they were already out.  Funny, I could have sworn that they made plans with me..oh no, they did in fact make plans with me but then decided that whatever else came up was MUCH better than simply picking up the phone and telling me that they are cancelling.

Wow! this needs to go in the etiquette list. Arabs need to learn how to respect appointments...this by anyone else's standard is simply rude and unacceptable behaviour by adults.

totally disgusted but then again I shouldn't be surprised by this.

Egyptian etiquette...or lack there of

This is for laughs...ROFL

Egyptian Etiquette: how do they behave???? read further and you will find out..

1) The word "excuse me" does NOT exist in their vocabulary. They push, shove, and hit you instead of saying "excuse me". Then I simply respond by saying "an effen excuse me would be nice" and yes in ENGLISH. By the way this doesn't phase them at all...they just don't care.

2) How do they drive? they drive like raging lunatics. They do not drive in the lanes, do not follow the speed limit...oh wait there's no police on the road therefore they don't get ticketed.

3) at the store/supermarket: they again push, shove, and hit you while you are checking out. They just feel that urge to just disrespect you. don't forget, they built the pyramids(oh wait no they didn't...they are NOT pharaohs..ooopss reality check, you're a cocktail)

4) They invented math? what? how could that be? they can even count the change they give you? I have yet to get the correct change from a teller or cashier in this country.

5) They are so honest?! what?! they're so honest that they're defraud you at every given chance they get. They don't lie to you, they just lie to you.

6) There's no crime in Cairo, it's the safest in the entire world? really? that's the biggest bullshit lie I have heard yet! now, is that why they don't have police anywhere and the criminals have gone hog wild in the country. is it also why women can't go out at night due to fear of being raped or kidnapped by criminals. Oh my, what was I thinking? I have been advised to buy an illegal gun to defend myself or to even walk around with a knife in my purse...oh my, what a safe country. my God, wow!

7) Vehicular homicide-as long as you do not know the person you killed then you only pay 150 EGP which is equivalent to $25.00 and then you're done. Also, no ambulance will be called as it is most likely a poor person who is crossing the street and not driving on it. therefore the driver can stand and watch the person die so to confirm the death and then go to the police station to pay the fine. the driver did his duty as a citizen. he paid his fine in full and in cash.

8) sexual harassment: it's not just verbal or just from the opposite sex. It's ALL kinds of love here...they don't discriminate when it comes to love...*puke* but they don't have homosexuals here..no, it's here, there, and everywhere. Not just in one place...so please just keep it a secret. ;) we wouldn't want competition for San Fran or the Village in NYC.

9) public bathrooms: wherever you are, just do it! and don't inconvenience yourself by trying to hide your private parts..hey we all have one of 'something'. hey God also created us naked so there's no offense taken...are you serious!?

10) Garbage: the scent, the sight, the size..it's one of a kind and it's everywhere! and if you're lucky like me, then you'll get to see a stray dog with a rat in it's mouth..all by the garbage.

11) Home Delivery: Here in Cairo you can have literally anything delivered from any store. The problem is, how soon do you need it delivered. Well that's up to the delivery dude. He can take up to 4 hours to deliver your stuff. so unless you're in a rush then I would recommend that you just go out and get it yourself otherwise you will be waiting a long time.

12) Customer Service: Egyptians, "What's that?"

13) What are Egyptians best at? Fighting over literally NOTHING !

14) Egyptian men and their favorite pastime: adjusting their 'junk' at every given moment possible and it doesn't matter who, what, where, when and how it's done. it's just done...all the time.

15) Egyptian women and their favorite pastime: emasculating the men on sight...they're so darn good at it that any male transsexual just needs to visit Cairo and "bam" instant sex change on the spot after being cackled at by one of these 'women'. only problem is he/she might not want to be a woman anymore after this encounter.

I have saved the best for last...The Metro..not the underground but simply the train

16) Metro-I have come to the realization that in order to deal with this dilemma that I have commuting around the City. I have learned to name each adventure I take on this thing.. FYI it's for the poor as they don't have cars nor can they afford a taxi. Also it's quick if you're going far...traffic in this city is sickening! haha, the following are just a few names I've given to a few of my rides on the metro..and oh yes I ride the women only car:
A) Mosh pit of Rhinos
B) Exploded sardine can(sight and smell)
C) A mobile prison cell
D) Torture chamber
E) A mobile trash bin
F) "Is this really the woman's car?"
G) Proof that the pestilence can come back
H) to be continued
 

A little about me

I've been living in Cairo, Egypt for over eight months now and during a chat at none other than Starbucks, my friends talked me into writing a blog. At first I was reluctant to proceed with such an adventure but after thinking about it, I was convinced that I would probably bring an interesting perspective of this region to many readers.

Upon my arrival on April 14th, I was very excited to venture off into this exotic and historical land. There is quite a bit of history in Cairo and you can especially see it in Old Coptic Cairo and Old Islamic Cairo. There are a few magnificent structures left behind from the Ottomans, Fatimid Dynasty and Ayyubid Dynasty. Things I would definitely recommend for any visitor to this land.


Life is very different here than from America, definitely something you can never fully prepare yourself for. There is definitely a cultural clash, intellectual differences, and religious differences.
Basically one can comfortably say that you will never meet people like the Egyptians. This can be taken in an interestingly positive approach or a realistic approach. I won't divulge my personal opinion as it may not be fair to the people here. I will leave you, the reader, to judge for yourself.

My goal from this blog is to bring forth the reality of this region but from a person living here. I not only blend in with the population but I will share the everyday experiences as an American in the Middle East.